Constantly Moving

My whole life, the only constant thing has been moving. I went to several schools in several school systems across three States before I graduated high school. That hasn't changed since growing up, since I have found myself in several predicaments when it comes to finding a lasting job and residence. Indeed, I have found myself living out of suitcases for the better part of the last year as my life is continually tossed in turmoil as I try to find out where to go next and how to get there. Constantly moving, constantly changing. I have no answer to "where are you from?" since I'm from many places. I have no place to call home, in a literal sense of the word. The place I reside now is not my home. There is nothing "home" about it. It's really sad to think about. It may be the "grass is greener" but...I've always wanted a real home. A place where I can put down roots and have a decent job, a spouse, a family. A place where I can live for more than a few years, where I'll get to know people around, and have a favorite shop or restaurant I visit on a regular basis and have a rapport with the proprietors. I feel, only those without a place to call home can truly appreciate what it means to have one. It's like that other old saying, "you can only appreciate what you have when it's gone." While I've never had it, when I finally do, I feel I will be able to appreciate it, though I will probably spend several years wondering "will I have to move again?"

Eyes on the Hearts

One thing I notice on a regular basis of the human race is that everyone who judges, judges based on the petty exterior of humans without ever really looking at them. People who look young are automatically looked down upon by people around their age or even younger simply based on looks. It's truly pathetic. Body shape and color, not just of skin, but also hair and eyes. It's really sad. All these things mean nothing compared to who the person actually is. I myself make it a point to give everyone a shot, even if I get a bad feeling on first impressions. I keep hoping that someone will prove me wrong. It sadly hasn't happened yet. It leaves me with little hope for the future, but I refuse to give up entirely. Stop looking to the surface--look instead to the heart, for that's all that really matters.

The News

I intentionally don't watch or read the news. Why? Because all I've ever seen is negative stuff. I mentioned this before, but now I want to posit a question: Why is it always negative?

Everywhere I look, and some of my friends and family always bombard me with negative news. Why can't they ever tell me something positive? What is it about the human species that it's so obsessive about the negative things? Do we just like complaining? Does it make us feel better to constantly spout negativity to others? I think people think so, but I beg to differ. Spouting the negativity means you're focused on the negativity. Focusing on the negativity makes you negative. Even if you spout it off, you're attempting to make another person negative, even if you don't realize (and I think a lot of us don't). We need to let the negativity die and become more positive. Focus on the good things. Go breathe some fresh air, or bake something and smell that. Watch or read something that truly makes you feel better. Surround yourself with positivity. You'll feel better, and that's the first step to creating a positive force for the world.

People

Facebook is becoming a very depressing place to visit. I stopped watching/reading the news a long time ago, well before adulthood, because I realized even at a very young age, it was all too depressing. Facebook is becoming the same kind of place. I thought it was supposed to be a place where you can share with friends and family near and far the happenings in your life so everyone can enjoy the experience together even when they can't be. When I first joined, it was a place where classmates could get together to work on projects, and it evolved from there. The more people that got on the website, the sadder and scarier it became. Now it's full of ads and politics and people fighting and hacking each others' pages and so much judging! I never was very attached to Facebook (thank goodness) and now I visit it less and less. I'm looking forward to the day it (and we) get back to basics, or it becomes obsolete, overwhelmed by something new where people will be less...people.

Why

Why must humans constantly push away those who are different than them? Why can't they accept and appreciate differences? I read a lot growing up. As we moved around, my reading kept me outside the group, which only made me read more, which only kept me farther and farther away from the group. To this day, social interactions are awkward to me. Why? In a large part, due to not getting any social interaction as a child due to people constantly ostracizing me as a child because I was different from them.

Dreams

Dreams can be a wonderful, magical thing. But they can also lead to the destruction of many things. It's important to keep a handle on your dreams, so they don't fly away or turn into something far from what you'd wished. I only have the one dream left in my life, and it may well be impossible, but I cling tightly to it anyway. It may be pure selfishness, and it may be something else entirely. I may never know, but I do know this: never let someone else, anyone else, crush your dreams. Dreams allow us to do things we could never imagine. It's important to keep your dreams alive, even if they seem impossible. They give you something to believe in when all else on earth fails you. Do I believe in something more? I certainly do, and it may seem silly or farfetched to some, but I believe that's where the dreams come from. Any dream that is corrupted, is corrupted by our own selfish desires, that's why we must continue to scrutinize our dreams and the steps to achieve them, so we don't corrupt them and can follow through.

Hobbies

I was talking to my friend on the phone tonight and we discussed some hobbies of ours we're currently unable to practice and the sadness that creates. These are games, both board and card, and we're unable to play because of lack of partners. It's really sad when you're unable to do something you enjoy because there's no one around to enjoy it with you. Growing up, I always tried to get my family to play games with me and they were always reluctant. I was so saddened by this that I expanded on the types of solitaire games I could play and finding other games I could play solo, just so I could play games alone. It's part of the reason I'm a huge reader too, because reading is something you do alone. It's not an exaggeration to say I've read well over a thousand books in my lifetime, though few would believe me. I can't remember all the books I've read either, because I started reading when I was four. Solo past-times are all well and good, but humans are social creatures and need time spent with other humans. Not humans attached to computers and cell phones though. We're forgetting what it means to be human if we spend all our time attached to digital devices. Don't forget your humanity in the face of computers, people! It's too sad to imagine...

Minor Minority

The thing about minorities, is they're not always noticed by the ruling class. I've talked to many people about one specific minority group I belong to and realize time and again how many things they don't realize that makes life difficult for us. There's a lot of things that are different between your world and mine that you probably don't realize. And there's a lot of people who still think we're "deviant" and "need to change" but I refuse to believe them. You see, I'm left-handed. What kinds of things are difficult for lefties, you ask? You'd be surprised.

For one, Scissors. You know, it took my family thirty years to come across proper left-handed scissors outside of a specialty shop? I still have difficulties cutting things and ask others to take that burden whenever possible. It's so difficult to cut when you have to contort your body to see the line you're cutting on.

Stairs. The reason everyone uses the right side is to hold onto the rail with your dominant hand. When others are using the stairs, we can't use our dominant hand to hold onto the rails. We're forced to conform to the majority to make others comfortable. Sometimes, I just stop caring and use the left side and make the others move instead. It gets tiring sometimes to change to suit the needs of another when the other never acknowledges you.

For that matter, the Flow of People on sidewalks and streets. Have you noticed that people walk to the right side of every wide pathway? That means we have to too, even if it makes us uncomfortable.

Dials, Knobs, Buttons, Doors. They're nearly always meant to be operated by right-handed people.

Instruments. Certain instruments, for instance, the strings, are also keyed to be played by right-handed people, and left-handed versions are hard to come by

While we're talking about hobbies, Sports Mitts. Finding a left-handed softball mitt was nearly impossible growing up. I had to go to a specialty sports shop in a mall, paying extra, and there was only one left-handed mitt in the whole shop!

These are just a few examples of things that make life difficult for lefties. There are many others, but I'm sure many people don't care so much as I, even among the lefties, and that's fine. If you think I'm over-dramatizing the situation, you're free to think that. I just wanted to point out to some people that little things you don't think about may be making life difficult for another. Something small you don't even realize you're doing. Everyone needs to think about more than their own needs and start thinking about the needs of the important people around them too. After all, what's life when you're always alone?

Life

There's a depressing number of people who don't seem to have a life outside their computers/video games. Some just live vicariously through them, and some make life difficult for others within the world of the games, often by ignoring the common rules of engagement and by making games unbearable for others through abusive commentaries. They remind me of those people who buy overly large pickup trucks, add the unnecessary extra tires on the back end, and decide the rules of the road no longer apply to them, speeding, passing illegally, cutting people off, and running lights and stop signs. Um, excuse me? Your car does not make you king of the road! Everyone has equal rights and responsibilities on the streets. Bottom line is, you may want to live only within the world of your games and the internet, but you still need to respect the others who want to be there too. There's billions of people on this little planet, and we all need to be able to live together. All genders, all colors, all nations. It's time we all learned this.

Butthurt Fans

One of the interesting things I often see when I peruse Social Media sites are butthurt fans. This both encompasses fans like I mentioned earlier who sent death threats to that director and also fans that attack other fans over their favorite anime/manga/novel/move/tv show/character if the other fans doesn't love it/them as much as the butthurt one. It never ceases to amaze me how many people use themselves as the scale of the world. "Oh, you don't know [fill in the blank with any super obscure reference you like]? Have you been living under a rock?! It's only the most amazing thing ever! Are you sure you're a [genre] fan?" "You can't possibly actually think you're an anime fan if you like Sailor Moon/only like One Piece or Dragonball." Ridiculous! You're not the be all and end all of whatever fandom you're in! Everyone can be a fan however s/he likes, so long as s/he isn't hurting anyone, I firmly believe. Stop pushing your beliefs and limits on other people! You driving people out of the fandom isn't going to do the fandom any good!

I once had a friend who was butthurt I wasn't devastated when a celebrity she loved died. He was a well-known actor, but I make it a point to not get attached to actors. I'm not an overly emotional human being, and people don't often get it, but it's not their place to judge, and it's not my place to judge either. We're a super judgemental species, and I really wish we'd just stop it. Everyone's different. Get over yourself.

Death Note Drama

I woke up this morning to see that a bunch of knuckleheads drove a director to deleting his twitter account by harassing him and sending him death threats because they were unhappy about his movie. I haven't watched it, personally, but I did watch a jvlogger on YouTube do a pros and cons video about the movie. Whether you like it or not, it's never a good idea to send death threats to people because you're unhappy with what they did. I'd like to see you do better! The Everyman can't just sit there and armchair critique a movie without knowing what goes into it! Yes, they cast a white person as Light. Who knows, maybe he really was the best applicant. I doubt they'd be easily able to bring a Japanese person over here with perfect English to do that job. To me, whitewashing isn't whitewashing until we know for a fact that they moved over perfectly good applicants to pick a white person to do the job. Yes, storyline bits were changed, possibly a lot, but again, that's going to happen every single time someone takes a story from one medium to another. I read the manga. It's very wordy and very mental (by which I mean, lots of thinking). All those thoughts can't be easily translated into a movie no matter how hard you try. Be upset with the movie if you like, but seriously people, it's not worth killing over. You're making all the otakus in the world look bad when you pull crap like that. We don't need that kind of reputation.

Movies versus Books

This is a question a lot of people ask. The answer is, of course, whichever you prefer. Some people can't read long periods without falling asleep, some people have difficulties reading, period. You get a lot more information from books the movies have no real way of portraying to the viewer, and that's one reason I personally prefer reading. Movies are good for multitasking, if you use it for background noise while reading, writing, doing any sort of working. Of course, you'll miss details, so I only do that if I've seen the movie before, so I can fill in the blanks.

Now, movie portrayals of books are another matter for me. Generally, I'm not big on them. They'll change major plot points to suit their needs or desires, and often change the book in such a way you wonder how it's supposed to even be related to the book of the same title. Ella Enchanted, Eragon, I Am Number Four, you name it, most of them don't do well and I refuse to watch their movies ever again. There are good ones though, if you look hard enough. One of my favorites, both as a book and as a movie is Howl's Moving Castle, a Ghibli masterpiece (in my humble opinion) that changed plot points in such a way as to make it an alternate story, I feel, but was true enough to most aspects of the book that I recognized the original British novel. The author enjoyed the movie as well. I have all three of what I have dubbed the Howl Trilogy. Howl's Moving Castle, Castle in the Air, and House of Many Ways, chronologically in that order, and I enjoyed them all. I enjoy looking for the original stories of any movie or show I enjoy watching, and making comparisons. I may be alone in that aspect, but if that's the case, so be it.

I'm not going to say that all movies based on books are bad, and that people who prefer movies over books are lazy. Not in the slightest. Like I said, it's your opinion, whatever you prefer. This is merely me, putting my thoughts out there for anyone who chooses to read. I respect the opinions of others, and I expect them to do the same for me.

Variety

Variety is the spice of life, so they say. I enjoy a good variety of things as well. My current phone and computer wallpapers are characters from the Manhwa "Noblesse". My current Playlist is One Republic's CD "Oh My My". My reading list is longer than I care to admit and includes The Complete Sherlock Holmes collection, Noblesse, One Piece, Detective Conan, The Prince and the Pauper, to name a few. Same with my watch list. One Piece, Detective Conan, White Collar, Doctor Who, Magic Kaito 1412, and more. I don't have too many interests outside these things. I have little to no interest in sports, love board and card games, but no one to play with, and I love 3D puzzles, though finding them is difficult. I'd like to widen my interests more, but haven't yet found any easy means to do so. My resources are limited where I am, as with like-minded people. I've been where I am for close to two years now, and have yet to find a true friend, or even someone to Streetpass tag with, even when I go to game shops! Very depressing. I keep the hope alive though!

Outsider

What do I mean when I say I'm "an outsider among outsiders"? Well, to be short, a lot of things. To expand, what I mean is, even among the social outcasts (the nerds, geeks, otakus, etc) I'm still an outsider. My interests are so diverse that I'm not enough of any one fandom to be considered "in" among the elitist of each group. Doesn't matter that I've seen nearly all fifty years plus of Doctor Who. I'm still not good enough for them. Doesn't matter that I've grown up watching several anime series all my life and still look for new material whenever I can. Not good enough for them either. The paraphernalia I've got isn't good enough for anyone. Especially since it's across the board. My books, movies, and music are the same. I've got fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, the lot. In music I've got oldies, some newer groups, fast rock, hard rock, soft rock, bagpipes, instrumental, classical, soundtracks, scores, even a little bit of country. Not enough to fit into any fan group. Is it that I'm too open-minded or everyone else is too close-minded, or are there like-minded people out there I haven't been able to meet yet? I really hope it's the latter. I never though outsider groups should be closed off to new people, ideas, dreams. It never made sense to me. I never thought it would be an issue to like different things. I never thought it was a good idea to force yourself to fit into someone else's mold. I don't think denying yourself to meet someone else's standards is a good idea. I don't care what kind of outsider you are, I think you should be who you are, as long as you're not hurting anyone pursuing your passions.